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Continue to date your hubby

June 7, 2014
By B

I got very lucky and fell in love with my best friend. Yes, that is cliché, but we truly love being together all the time. So we’ve asked each other, what’s the difference between always hanging out vs a date? Often my husband and I will go to an activity (ie, we decide to go walk around the mall because we are bored and want to get out), he will always ask me, “so do we get to count this as a date?” 🙂

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I love the difference between guys and girls, it brings such a great dynamic to a relationship. However, sometimes if those differences aren’t communicated properly, expectations can be crushed.

One way that I helped my husband and I get on the same page (on the dating page), was by giving him a 12 dates for Christmas this last year. I planned 12 dates for the year 2014. Having it preplanned takes the guess-work out (sometimes half the battle is simply choosing what to do or where to go). It also takes a little pressure off your spouse because he doesn’t have to guess what your expectations are for “dating”.

Continuing to date your hubby truly is important. The longer I am married, and the more I see couples who have been married for 20+ years then get a divorce, I realize that continuing to date your hubby is valuable in a relationship.

It allows you to take dedicated time to spend on each other.
It forces you to get out of your daily routine to feel special, to flirt with each other, and to focus on your spouses needs.
Without the kids pulling at your hair, or the tv on in the background allow a safer place for intimate moments to happen between you and your spouse, and I’m not just talking physically.
Sometimes these are the best times my husband and I connect intellectually, mentally, or even spiritually.

One hard thing I’ve noticed that takes away my attention from my hubby is my son – now I don’t mean that in any negative way at all. Every mom will get it. From the instant that your baby is born they depend on your entirely to keep them alive, to keep them safe. The older they get the more independent they become but you still have this enormous protective feeling that you are 100% in charge of their safety, their well-being. It’s hard to forget that your husband needs you too – I have the perfect example that will help me explain what I’m thinking here.

Story Time!

So my husband and I were going to go on our monthly date, we had planned a babysitter and were a few hours before getting ready to leave. The closer we got to the time I just had increased anxiety about leaving my son. I have no idea why, I just didn’t want to leave him. So we took a rain-check and planned our date for the following weekend.

Our date night came quickly and I felt anxiety about leaving my son again. I was talking to my mom right before we left and I was telling her how I didn’t want to leave my son, how I didn’t need to. I didn’t need a “break” from being a mom. I wasn’t overwhelmed, stressed, or tired. I felt perfectly capable of having my son come with us to hang out as a family.

But my wise mom reminded me that maybe I didn’t need the date, but my husband did. I need to make my husband feel special, feel valued and give him my attention just like I do for my son. That concept hit me very hard. Sometimes I do need just alone time with my hubby, but sometimes they need that alone time with you, too.

Needless to say, we went on the date and we had one of the funnest times we have had in a while! Our date was very worth the anxiety of getting a babysitter and leaving my son!!

I love my husband more than anything, and I love every day we get to spend together! But make sure you continue to date your husband so both of you feel special! Don’t be that couple 25 years down the road that raised their kids and then look at each other and say, “who are you?”

Check out this cute idea I found on pinterest – it’s called the 15 Second Kissing Challenge (it’s from the timewarpwife.com):

Now, with your new motivation to continue to date your hubby, go plan some dates! It will make BOTH of you happy. Your dates do NOT have to be expensive. They do NOT have to take a ton of energy/time. But they do need to focus on just the two of you, with NO distractions (gizmos and gadgets, two legged minions, etc.).