While most of us can recognize and agree that motherhood is hard, it is still our responsibility to be a good mom. In one breath I might say hold you head up high you are doing a great job as a mom. Yet, on the other hand I see mom’s around and I think to myself, we all have room to be a better mom.
There are a lot of good ways to spend time with your children. And each family situation is different. I am very bold in this post to openly voice my opinion. Please choose not to be offended, rather take what ideas will work for your family.
A Call to be better:
Mom’s, we need to do better. We need to put down our phones, control our temper and frustration, and spend time, genuine, healthy time with our children. Yes, there are a lot of us out there that endlessly try every day to be the best mom’s we possibly know how to be. Be confident to know those efforts are appreciated and will make a difference in your child’s development. However, everyone, every mom has the room to improve.
Our responsibility as mothers are divinely appointed.
As mothers we need to remember we have a divine role to raise and nurture our children. It is a responsibility. It is a privilege. A child needs a mother more than things money can buy. Spending time with your children is the greatest gift we can give them.
Choose One thing to work on .THIS WEEK. to help you be a better mom
1. BE THERE.
First, take the time to always be there. Stop doing the laundry, stop checking facebook, stop working on your latest DIY project and pay attention. Be there at the crossroads when your children are either coming or going – when they leave and return from school, when they leave and return from dates, when they bring friends home. Be there at the crossroads whether your child is 6 or 16. Among the greatest concerns in our society are the millions of latchkey children who come home daily to empty houses, unsupervised by working parents.
2. BE A REAL FRIEND.
Take the time to be a real friend to your children. You might skip this section and say, no, parents can’t be friends with their children. You’re wrong. There is a balance. Your children are your responsibility, so setting boundaries of all kinds are in the daily work of parenthood. But you can be their friend. Listen to your children, really listen. Talk with them, play with them, cry with them, hug them, honestly praise them. Yes, regularly spend un-rushed one-on-one time with each child. Be a real friend to your children.
3. READ TO YOUR CHILDREN.
Oh, how I can’t emphasize this enough. Reading to your children should be a staple in your daily routine. There are so many studies that show a direct correlation to the amount of time a child reads directly correlates to their grades. Start from babies and continue to read with your children even if they can read for themselves! Spending time reading together allows you to decrease screen time, allows your child to sit on your lap and have that close connection. It allows your child to trust what you say. This will open the door to how much you teach them. A child learns 80% of his knowledge from his mother.
4. PRAY WITH YOUR CHILDREN.
Doesn’t matter your religious stance, pray with them. If you can teach your child to automatically react in any situation (situations like when they are scared, frustrated, sad, when they lost something, etc) to pray to a higher source, your child will be more confident and happier. Pray with them in a family setting, with them on a one-on-one basis. It says in the Bible “The…fervent prayer of a righteous [mother] availeth much” (James 5:16). Let them practice praying, but also take a turn. When they listen to you pray, they will learn. They will feel so important when they hear you pray for them. That will bond you better than anything I can think of.
5. HAVE WEEKLY FAMILY MEETINGS.
With the hustle and bustle of temper tantrums, soccer practice, music lessons, Saturday errand day, homework, etc, sometimes weeks can go by and you won’t have even spent any quality time together as a whole family. Dedicate one day to get together. Ask how each person has been. Check in with them. Make sure your children are actively involved in these meetings. Don’t just call them to the living room, ask how they are, then let them go back to their room. Instead, put them in charge of something – dessert, family activity, etc.
6. BE TOGETHER AT MEAL TIMES.
This falls on the shoulders of the previous item. Haven’t you heard the saying, a family that eats together, stays together? I think Stoffer’s has a saying something like that. This can be a challenge, I understand that. But happy conversation, sharing of day’s plans and activities, and special teaching moments can occur at the dinner tables. Even as young families, you can strive to achieve this goal. We put our baby in a bouncer right by our feet and our two year old in the high chair right by the table. We are in a circle as we eat our dinner as a family. We engage our 2 year old to tell us about his day, and try to show him the importance he brings to the table. Not just mommy and daddy talk.
7. PLAY WITH YOUR CHILDREN.
Let them see your silly side. When they are little, get down on the floor and roll around. Play ‘airplane’! Blow bubbles in chocolate milk. Let them play in the sink, in the dirt. When your children are a little older, get involved in what they are interested in. That doesn’t mean you have to take on their hobby, but be invested in what they care about. Check them out of school one day to go walk around the mall, or to take them to the movie. I can assure you, these moments, when you let them be children, will be the moments they remember forever.
8. TEACH YOUR CHILDREN.
Your responsibility as a mother is to teach them how to interact in society. I understand the precious balance between nature vs nurture. I understand very much that each child comes with his/her own personality. But. It is still your responsibility to teach your children good things. To be honest. To be kind. To serve. To include others. To pray to God. To choose to be happy. To be grateful. To work hard. There are so many wonderful things we have the opportunity to teach our children. Sometimes these valuable lessons come in conversations, by example, or by setting boundaries. Sometimes these lessons are something the child learns over years of repetition, or sometimes it’s a few gentle reminders. But it is still your responsibility.
9. SET APPROPRIATE BOUNDARIES.
Mothers who know what is best for their children, set appropriate boundaries. This might mean something different to each family, or even each child in the home. But a mother sets boundaries to help a child grow, learn and know they are loved. When setting appropriate boundaries we must “keep our cool.” A child does not respond to yelling. I can assure you that. They respond to calm, collective guidance. They respond to positive reformation. Strive to reward the good behaviors, and ignore the bad. And those “bad” behaviors that can’t be ignored need to have an appropriate boundary set in place. Allow your child to have a warning before time-outs. I believe it was President Gordon B. Hinkley that said, “There is no need for yelling in the house. Unless there is a fire.”
10. TRULY LOVE YOUR CHILDREN.
It is our deepest, most serious responsibility to truly love our children. They need to know they are loved, are appreciated, and are important. I know that you love your child. But does your child know that?
Strive this week to be a better mom. Continue reading about the sacredness of motherhood.
How are you going to work towards being a better mom? Tell me in a comment below!
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