First time mom?!? Great tips for mom for that first year!!

3 Tips for Mom for that First year!

As the one year mark approaches to my son’s birth, I can’t help but reflect! I have learned so much during my son’s first year that I thought I would share a few things for those of you who are about to have a baby and are wondering about it.

 

First time mom?!? Great tips for mom for that first year!!

1. EARLY ADJUSTMENTS:

The very first lesson I learned was more-so about my marriage than it was about motherhood. Those very first days and few weeks when you come home from the hospital are a little hazy… not now as I look back, but as you are in the middle of them. Not only are you a little more tired than usual, I was recovering from a c-section, also my husband had a new job and had to go back to work right away, and on top of that, you have this sweet little baby who depends 100% on you. Through the happy daze that I had fully expected, what I didn’t expect was how my relationship with my husband would change.

I truly think that we have a bit of an attachment issue. We are very attached to each other. We are each other’s best friends, and we love to spend all of our time together. When I was pregnant my husband had a job that was very flexible. Our routine was dedicated to everything “us”. It was great!

When our sweet baby joined us, there was a big adjustment in that routine. I no longer came home from work and told him about every detail of my day…I could tell him about the 10 diapers I had changed that day and how the boy had slept for X amount of time, but that doesn’t hold much interest in a conversation. My husband had a new job and was adjusting to the learning curve so he didn’t want to talk about work either. 

So for those of you who are about to have a baby and are wondering what some of the adjustments will be, just remember in the back of your mind that there will be a shift in the way you and your husband function. It can easily be address with good communication, just set your expectations that it will be different. Tell your husband that you two have a new rule. That is to communicate with no judgement or resentment what you both are feeling. That way neither of you have to guess, and each of your needs can me met right away with the help of your spouse. 

2. CREATE YOUR ROUTINE

Babies do really well when there is a routine! Newborns, Infants and toddlers! So set one NOW! Your baby could be 1 week old, or 1 year! Doesn’t matter, if you don’t have a routine, set one now. It will make a BIG difference! Before I had my son I wondered what my routine would look like? For those first time moms here is a summary of what I mean by that.

For the newborn days I followed the “Baby Wise” theory. There is an amazing summary of this HERE. I bookmarked this and followed it very closely in those first 13 weeks. In summary, work in three hour shifts. The first hour and a half feed your baby and play with your baby and allow baby to have independent time. Second hour and a half is sleep. Then start the cycle again, until bed time. The last 3 hour cycle, keep them awake as long as possible. Read the article, it will be worth it. 

I have always been an organized person. I like structure. When I had my son it was the first time that I didn’t have anything planned. I was use to full time school or full time work, or both. I no longer was run by the clock or the day. SO to help with that, I created a schedule for me that helped me stay sane. Mondays became my laundry/cleaning day. I do all laundry, ironing and cleaning the house on this day. This keeps me very busy when you add that on top of mommy work. Now prioritize what you need done. Set a grocery day, a work day, a park day, a play-date day, etc.

It’s important for you to have a routine for you and your baby. It’s as clear as glass the days I followed the routine and the days I didn’t. My son is way more agitated on the days that our schedule wasn’t followed.

*Now remember, there is no reason to cry over spilled milk. I definitely have a relaxed attitude, to not worry so much. You can have a routine but there will always be days/moments where you simply can’t follow that schedule. You’ll have a doctors apt, someone will get sick, you’ll need to run errands… or simply there will be days you feel lazy and don’t want to stick to your schedule! That is perfectly wonderful! Embrace that, allow yourself to be a flexible mom!

3. BE CONFIDENT A MOM!

Another lesson I learned was about confidence. In the first few weeks and months I found myself comparing my skills to others. That sounds really silly, like I should know better not to do that, but it happened without me realizing it at first. There will be a moment when you look on Facebook and hear of your friend’s daughter who was born the same time your kid was who is doing something faster/better than your child. The other kid will be sitting up first, will roll over way before yours even shows signs of that, etc. And in the back of your mind you’ll think, “am I doing something wrong?”

You’ll also run across people who don’t believe in routines and will tell you that you are too ‘high-strung’. You will have days when your baby doesn’t sleep according to your expectation, or eat as much as you think they need. I can tell you that being a mom you become excellent at guess work. Over time you become an expert in taking in the situation and guessing what needs to happen! Until you feel like you know what your baby needs, you feel clueless and sometimes helpless. That is okay, embrace that. 

When you are feeling less confident for whatever reason, do a few things. First, I always like to talk it out with my husband. He is great at validating me and helping me feel better. Then I like to research. I go online and research about that topic. Become educated! Then, hold that sweet baby of yours, remember that it was YOUR body who grew that small perfect human. YOU are the one who has been with this baby it’s entire life. YOU have what’s called “mother’s intuition”. It works. YOU will know what your baby needs or if there is something wrong. Follow it, and be educated. YOU are what is best for your baby. Be a Confident MOM!!

 

Read more about all aspects of Motherhood here

 

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