solve marital problems

The Grapefruit Analogy

Problem Solving in Marriage

Learn from the Grapefruit Analogy 

I heard a story about problem solving in marriage many years ago that I have never forgotten. The grapefruit analogy. Let me relate it to you. 

Learn how to Problem Solving in Marriage with the grapefruit analogy  -  Happy Mama Tales

A couple was given the advice to have regular, candid sharing sessions in which they would list any mannerisms they found to be annoying. They were to list 5 things they found annoying in their spouse. The wife started. 

She told him that she did not like the way he ate his grapefruit. He peeled it and ate it like a oragne. Nobody else eats grapefruit like that, she told him. Could a girl seriously be expected to spend a lifetime, and even eternity, watching her husband eat grapefruit like an orange? It’s annoying and truly just the wrong way to eat it. 

After she finished with her list of five things, it was the husband’s turn to list the things he disliked about the wife. He sat there for a moment looking like he was trying to find the words to provide this constructive criticism. He said, “Well, to tell the truth, I can not think of anything I don’t like about you, Honey.” 

#gasp #mouthdropwideopen #rushofguiltyfeeling 

She quickly turned around to hide the tears that filled her eyes. 

Solving marital problems together strengthens couples - learn ways to problem solve in marriage   -   Happy Mama Tales

Often times whenever I hear of married couples being incompatible, I wonder if they are suffering from what I now call the Grapefruit Syndrome. 

Lesson to be had – yes, at times, it is better to leave some things unsaid.  Your goal this week is to avoid “ceaseless pinpricking”. Don’t be too critical of your spouses faults. Recognize that none of us is perfect. We all have a long way to go.  Ceaseless pinpricking (as President Kimball called it) can truly deflate any marriage. Generally, each of us is painfully aware of our weakness, and we don’t need frequent reminders. 

Few people have ever changed for the better as a result of constant criticism or nagging. If we are not careful, some of what we offer as constructive criticism towards our spouse can actually be destructive. At times, it is better to leave some things unsaid. 

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