14 Ways to Overcome the Fear of Failure

I have crazy anxiety about not being good enough. I am afraid of failing & have spent years trying to figure out how to overcome the fear of failure. Not sure why or where it developed from but I do not like that feeling where I’ve failed – at anything.

I make this comment “I feel like I failed” on a somewhat regular basis. I know my hubby doesn’t like it when I say that, but I still feel that way. Well, I did.

Until one day, he finally stopped me and cringed. He told me he didn’t want me to ever say that again.

Let me explain.

I feel like I've failed!! Oh my gosh I loved this girl she explains 14 awesome ways to overcome the fear of failure. I so needed to hear this today!!

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I can’t even remember what we were talking about specifically but I said, “I just feel like I failed though” and he stopped in his tracks.

“No more, Britni. I don’t want you to say that anymore.”

This coming from my hubby who is always joking, laughing and is never all that serious. I knew he really meant it.

I sort of gave him a blank stare and he then continued,

“Failure is not when you’ve tried and you aren’t perfect at it. Failing is like not even trying at all.

“If you take a test and you’ve studied and you answered every single question yet still got an F on it, you did not fail.

“But when you don’t answer any of the questions, or don’t even show up for the test that’s when you’ve failed.”

We proceeded to come up with multiple ways to help reframe my thinking so I don’t have that fear of failure anymore. I’d love to share these ideas with you.

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14 Ways to Overcome the Fear of Failure

FEAR IS A CHOICE

Fear is not really a thing – is something we make up in our head. Fear comes from our brain. It’s an emotion that compiles all of our past emotions, experiences, and the “unknown” things. It’s a way for our brain to process out experiences we’ve actually had or ones we play out in our head.

In summary, fear comes from our thoughts. Which is awesome because we can control our thoughts. Fear is a natural response in our brain, but we have the ability to choose to entertain that fear or scoot it off the stage of thought.

FAILURE IS A STEPPING STONE

Failure is a stepping stone to greatness. Failure is a process of learning, growing & achieving. We must encounter struggle in order to fight for our victory.

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failure is the stepping stone to success!! 14 ways to overcome the fear of failure!! Don't be afraid to fail anymore!!!

I know you’ve seen these before, but look at just a few of these people we consider to be “successful”. They sure have had a lot of “stepping stones” in order for them to achieve that glorious success.

14 ways to overcome the fear of failure - understanding that failure is a stepping stone to success! You must struggle before you fight for your victory

Fail a few times. It is good for you. Realize that in your “failures” you succeed! You learn! You grow! You overcome! You gain empathy. You fight for more! You become more.

FAILURE AND SUCCESS ARE NOT OPPOSITES

Understanding that failure and success are not opposites will be the key to overcoming your fear of failure. Make Friends with Fear and you will achieve more success than you ever dreamed!

CONSIDER ALL POTENTIAL OUTCOMES

Someone like myself needs to consider all possible outcomes. I need to set expectations and have a plan b. Sometimes, haha actually most of the time, our plans don’t seem to work out. But that doesn’t mean the situation doesn’t work out in general – just not how we originally planned.

Some consider this failing.

That is where we have to reframe your mind. If you are in a situation that turned out different that you expected doesn’t mean you failed.

Be okay with different outcomes.

BELIEVE FROM WITHIN

I interviewed this Marriage and Family Therapist who explained perfectly how we can increase our self esteem. It was eye opening for me. Finding confidence within yourself will overshadow that annoying fear of failing.

Boom baby.

POSITIVE SELF TALK

I have a dear friend that is really affected by her fear of failure. Her life, daily decisions, interactions, and long term goals are hindered because she is so worried about not measuring up to that invisible line of “good enough”.

This plays off the previous one – to have a deep seeded self confidence – in order to be okay with “not good enough”. Which I have to argue, because I know she is good enough. She is actually amazing – she is the funniest person I know and I love being around her. But her weight or economic status or whatever else doesn’t seem to fit her category of success so she feels as though she has failed in every sense of the word.

My hubby recommended beginning with positive self talk to remedy this. Look in the mirror and stare into your eyes. Find one thing to focus on, something that you know you are awesome at, or some quality of yours. Eyes, talent, hair, personality trait, an accomplishment, anything. Find anything and begin telling yourself  –  out loud  –  how awesome that is and that YOU are awesome because of that.

Keep doing that everyday. Add positive things. Then during the rest of the day change your negative thoughts to more positive ones. The “jabs” you throw out to yourself take them back and compliment yourself throughout the day.

I know I ranted about this one for a long time, but seriously, you have to believe that you are amazing! Truly AH-MAZING! You are a Son or Daughter of a Heavenly King who dearly, unconditionally loves you. Plain old simple you.

That is amazing, and something to give you power to not worry about failing so much.

STOP COMPARING

Oh why oh why do we compare ourselves to others? Why do we do it?

Fear of failure can come when you don’t feel like you are good enough; when you feel like everyone else is better.

Stop that. Stop compare and realize you are your own person with different backgrounds, strengths and weaknesses. Which leads me to….

Stop comparing!! YOU are good enough!

BE OKAY TO BE DIFFERENT

This is where I fall into my fear of failing. I have identified that I so desperately want to belong. I want to be the same as those people I care about, and those people I look up to.

But that’s not how it works – that’s not how we work.

Everyone has some form of balance – they are awesome at somethings and not so hot at others. But you are different from them. I am different from you.

I quite frankly am not so hot at english, cooking, and follow through. But I am excellent at making people feel important, I can be your biggest cheerleader & I am really great at having a strong, unshakeable testimony in Jesus Christ.

If we can be okay to be different {which plays very closely to making sure we stop comparing ourselves to other} we will find that confidence and comfort in being great at our personal strengths and having weaknesses.

CREATE REALISTIC GOALS

A very awesome way to overcome your fear of failure is to take a look at the things you feel you are failing at. Why are you failing? What are you trying to achieve?

Sometimes setting realistic goals for yourself or others will readjust that level of success and failure you are measuring yourself by.

Be realistic with yourself. No one is perfect. No one is good at everything. Are you setting expectations too high?

GET UNCOMFORTABLE

When we break down why we are so afraid of failing it isn’t even about failing – it’s always some other deep-lying complicated mess.

Face your fears straight in the face and get super uncomfortable. Whether you have a heart to heart with yourself in front of the mirror {or more like in the rear view mirror when your kids are all strapped in and can’t run all over}, or you talk to your hubby, or a friend, or a professional.

Get comfortable with uncomfortable feelings so you can discover why you are so scared of failing.

AIM EVEN BIGGER

Once you can feel actually be okay with not being perfect, understanding the logic and emotion behind your feelings now you can aim for the sky!

Dream big and ai even bigger! With no worries about hearing no, no second thought as to what happens if you aren’t perfect at it, and a second plan b you are set up for pure success.

TEMPORARY PAIN COULD BE LONGTERM GAIN

Failure is bound to happen if you are taking risks, dreaming big and taking action. You can’t be afraid of “no”. Because you will hear it.

Be okay with temporary pain knowing that it will lead you to that ultimate goal you are searching and working so hard for!

HAVE A REMINDER PHRASE

My hubby and I came up with “that’s a thinking error”. We now say this to each other {well mostly he says it to me 🙂 } as a way of helping me identify when I need to reframe my way of thinking. It’s not demeaning, it’s actually really helpful.

Sometimes someone else can help you see something better than you can see it yourself.  Having someone to help you stay on the path to overcome your fear of failure will be so beneficial! You’ll learn how to reframe your thoughts and words and before you know it you will be soaring!

PERSPECTIVE

To begin the process of overcoming your particular fears & your anxiety about failing you must shift your mind. Your perspective must change.

Changing your perspective on failing encompasses every single attribute above. Reframing our mind, understanding that failing, or not being good enough, is actually a powerful tool, being confident and believing in yourself all play into how you change that view of yours.

They say perception is a man’s reality. Your perception of life – past, present, future, facts, opinions, etc – shape the way we view life and ourself and others and opportunities. But sometimes our perception is off.

You can choose to look at the glass half empty, or half full. You can choose to look at an opportunity or a chance to prove you aren’t good enough. It’s your choice.

14 ways to overcome the fear of failure. REALLY awesome article! Motivated me to get out there and dream big!! 3 No more fear to fail after reading this article!!

Use these habits to reframe your way of looking at life so you can overcome your fear of failure!


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