I was shocked to hear this answer when I asked my readers what was the one thing they were struggling the most in life right now. Wanna know what they said?
“having low confidence and self esteem“.
I was shocked.
I, too, struggle with confidence and self esteem so today I’ve asked a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist to guide us on how to increase your self esteem!
(Entering our guest)
Hello Happy Mama Tales subscribers and readers! The creator of the blog asked me to do a guest post on building self esteem. To be totally honest my self-esteem went through the roof when I was asked to be part of this so I hope I can help anyone lacking the motivation to get out there and have some great experiences.
To start off I wanted to tell you a little bit about me. I am a licensed Marriage and Family therapist. I specialize in adolescent and relationship counseling. I would say the biggest problem my clients face is self-esteem. Unfortunately, I see clients with self-esteem so low it debilitates them in their daily lives. When I am doing therapy these are the steps I use to help those clients.
7 Ways to Increase your Self Esteem
You are special
This is a concept that is difficult for every single one of my clients. They don’t believe it so it’s hard for them to admit they are special. I come from a religious background and I believe God has created every single one of us after His own image. Not only that, there are no two people in this world who are the same. Sure, there may be some people with similar attributes but there is no one like you! In order to build your self-esteem you must realize, YOU ARE SPECIAL. Now, with this being the first step, don’t get discouraged and lose self-esteem if you don’t 100% believe it.
If you don’t know the benefits of exercise, read this awesome article. Exercise is the absolute best way to increase self-esteem and lower depression. There are countless studies on this if you don’t believe me. The one complaint I get from clients is, “I’ve never exercised a day in my life, I’m not going to run a marathon”. To that I say good! I don’t want you to try and fail, that would lower your self-esteem. I want you to get out and move that body any way you can. I you’ve never exercised, go for a walk. If you lift weights try more cardio, if you do cardio try lifting weights. Whatever it is, exercise.
Get a hobby
Getting a hobby can be a difficult thing for people with low self-esteem. They may not feel adequate enough to do anything or they may not have found anything they like. I strongly urge clients to go to a hobby shop and find anything interesting. Building a model car, doing a puzzle, watching wrestling or other sports, ETC. Getting a hobby not only makes your more interesting to others, which means they’ll listen to you, it also makes more confident in your abilities to do things.
Don’t compare yourself to others.
We’ve all been there. Looking at the latest posts on Facebook or noticing our “friends” having the time of their lives. STOP IT! This is not healthy. People who compare themselves to anyone always have low self-esteem. SO don’t compare yourself to others. There is no room for argument on this one.
“I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and doggone it, people like me.” The best place to do positive self talk is in the bathroom. By this stage in the self-esteem game you should have some skills, and you should think more highly of yourself. This is the time to tell yourself that. Personally this is my favorite stage. I stand in the mirror for about 10 minutes a day telling myself things I like about myself. One example, I love my muscles. I like to flex and look at my muscles popping out. This is made possible because I follow rule #2. Exercise. Whatever you love about yourself, say it. Stare into those beautiful eyes and gleam every awesome trait about YOU!
Surround yourself with positive friends.
This is a difficult goal for most people with low self-esteem. They often believe they don’t have anything to offer, or they compare themselves, or they don’t they are special enough. At this stage there is no worry of those fears. They are special, they have hobbies, and they don’t compare themselves to others. Finding people who love you, who can see the positive & who are positive makes a world of a difference! Their positive vibes will soon be your positive vibes!
You are special
I know I put this in the beginning and I don’t want you to feel like I duped you. But this concept is so important it needs to be said twice. You are special. You are a son or daughter of a Heavenly Father who loves you very much. Your happiness and life is great in the eyes of Him. There are people out there who love being around you. Your family loves you, animals are happy when you come near and you make others happy. Trust me when I say this, you have a lot more worth than you can know what to do with.
(exciting our guest)
Boom baby! Thank you so much for that powerful guide on how to be more confident! Confidence radiates our mind, body and spirit! The one that hit me the most was not comparing myself to others – I will definitely work on that!
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